


Punishment and Forgiveness

by singergurl91



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Counseling, F/M, POV Original Character, Psychology, Romance, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-12 05:04:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singergurl91/pseuds/singergurl91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of The Dark World, Loki is sentenced to live in Midgard as a mortal, much like Thor was.  However, Odin requires that Loki find the help of a 'mind healer'.  Marianna Ranieri, a young therapist working towards her PhD needs a case study but none of her current patients fit her needs.  When two Norse gods walk into her practice, her life is changed forever.<br/>(A character study on Loki that I've wanted to do for a while.  Possible romance later on.  All other relationships are platonic/familial.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Like No Other You Have Ever Cared For

 

When I met him, I was dying.

Not in the physical sense. I was in near-perfect health in reality. But I was 'dying' in a metaphysical sense, my mental state. Loneliness was a natural feeling for me and I didn't think it would ever go away. When you're a therapist, a counselor, you would think that I had my life all figured out and I was mentally healthy. But, that was only the appearance I gave others since I couldn't look like I was falling apart in front of my patients.

As a therapist, I had encountered numerous patients that were different from each other in extreme ways. Some dealt with manic-depressive disorders. Some came seeking advice to survive the bullies in their school systems. Others I helped past suicidal tendencies and thoughts. But, I never thought I would come face to face with someone like this.

" _Like no other you have ever cared for_."

That's what his brother told me the day I first met the man...no. Not man, but _god_ that would change my life forever. Whether for better or for worse, I still don't know. All I know is that life would never be normal for me again.

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Everything started out as a normal afternoon. I had finished my last consultation for the day.

Her name was Mariah. She was going through a rough transition in school. Eleven as I remember it, was never a fun time; she reminded me of myself at that age. After handing her off to her parents, I let them know that she only had one more session scheduled because the school year was almost over and that after that, my doors would always be open if she needed more help.

I walked back to the cramped room where Krissandra spent most of her days. She shared her desk with another, plus five large filing cabinets that held the records of my current and past patients, a few completely empty since I was still relatively new to counseling. I slumped in a chair next to her. "So that was my last appointment of the day, right?"

"Yep." she said. "We can close early if you want, Mari." Kris' face brightened and I knew what was going on in her head.

"No, Kris. I'm not going out with you tonight. I'm still reeling from this weekend. Besides, I don't ever leave before you do. I've always got something to be working on."

"Oh come on, you love karaoke. And I won't even try to talk you into drinking this time," Kris chided me.

I shook my head. "Not tonight, hon. You know that I have to figure out my case study and I can't finish my degree without it. And none of my clients are..." I cringed as the words came. "I hate this phrase, but...none of them are as "messed up" or "damaged" as I would need for a long term case study. Maybe I just need to branch out or join Jaison's practice or..."

"No, don't do any of that!" Kris cut me off. "You're already stretched as thin as is its with your clients here. And don't you dare join Jaison. He'd only take advantage of how close you are and try to push himself on you again. You're still getting over all that bullshit from when he dumped you for no reason! And now that he wants you back, you're willing to risk dealing with him because you need a case study? Just wait, be patient and it will come to you."

And damn Kris for it, but she was absolutely right. But, she never had to worry about being alone. There were definitely plenty of guys that would fall at her feet if given the chance. However, our friends wouldn't let that happen. My friends and I, we were like a small family. We ended up protecting each other as much as we could.

Coming out of my thoughts, I looked at Kris sadly. "But, Kris, I've been putting this off for months and my context needs to get to my supervisor by the end of next week. I need just one case. And I've got no one here, so I may just have to ask Jaison for help." I sighed and leaned back against one of the filing cabinets. "Hon, I just don't see how I can do this without a big case." I slid down until I was sitting on the floor, my knees coming up to my chest as I wrapped my arms around them. Kris got out of her chair and kneeled next to me, giving me a hug.

"You'll figure it out. You always do. Don't worry so much about it. Just ask for some more time. I'm sure your supervisor will give you another month." She let go of me and leaned back against another filing cabinet. "Just come out with me tonight, Mari. Relax. You're too strung out with worrying about this job, your case study, and the breakup.

I sighed, relenting. "You're right. I do need to relax a bit more. I'll come out with you tomorrow night."  Kris opened her mouth to protest but I put a hand up.  "It's Thursday and you know I don't go out on work nights." I smiled slightly, still wondering in the back of my mind what my context would deal with, when I heard the door to the waiting room open and close. I looked up at the clock and seeing that it was only 3:45, realized how early in the day it still was. Kris stood up and went back to her desk to speak with the gentleman that appeared at the window.

I stayed on the floor, my cheek pressed against the cold metal. My eyes closed, I listened to Kris talk to the man in the reception area. She sounded flustered, which was abnormal for my smooth talking best friend. I didn't understand until I listened to the man more intently. His speech patterns were different, almost archaic in a way. And, he was loud. It reverberated through the small room and caused the metal cabinets to vibrate slightly.

I peeked around the corner to see a giant of a man, definitely over six feet tall, trying to explain something to Kris. She was smart, but around gorgeous men, she lost the ability to think clearly. And this man was definitely drool-worthy in a giant lumberjack way.

I stood up and shifted Kris to the side. "Go pick me up a new file folder and a set of those questionnaires. I'll work this out." Kris just stood, mouth gaping slightly and she nodded absentmindedly before she backed away. Turning back to the man, who blocked out the majority of the tiny reception window, I started to speak. "Sorry about her. Sometimes she needs to walk away before she passes out. She has a problem of not breathing around men in general. Doesn't get out as much as she ought to," I joked. "What can I help you with?"

"Greetings to you, miss," he said much more quietly, but beaming brightly. "I am seeking someone who can heal the wounds of the mind. I am told these healers are called 'therapists' or 'psychologists' here. Are you one of these healers?"

Yep. Archaic and extremely formal speech patterns. He almost sounded like he belonged in medieval times or a fairy tale.

"Yes. My name is Marianna Ranieri and I'm the one in charge here. I'm a therapist and counselor.  I specialize in treating young adults and adolescents, but I don't turn away anyone from my practice." I smiled up at him, asking "What would you like help with?"

This man seemed happy enough. Definitely odd, but he had an extremely sunny disposition, a smile never leaving his face. It was practically contagious. His long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes suggested Scandinavian descent, and his bulk also showed that he worked in an environment where lots of muscle was required. The red plaid shirt and jeans he wore suggested comfort and a casual sensibility about life, and complemented his light coloring well. Overall, he didn't seem to need psychological help at all.

"Ah, wonderful. I am looking for someone who can help my brother. His mind is broken and he is not as he once was. He needs the help of a mind healer" he spoke as Kris came back, handing me the folder that would hold information on any new case.

"Is your brother here with you today? We can get some preliminary information written down, figure out appointment times and durations, types of treatment, and payment options. If not, we can set up an appointment time for him to come in."

"That will not be necessary. He is here with me," the man spoke as he stepped aside to show another figure in the waiting room. And if the first man was the sun, his brother was the moon.

He stood back from the first, looking around in a mixture of sullenness and loss. I scrutinized him more than the first since it seemed obvious that the second was the more likely of the two to need my help. His pale skin was accentuated by long black hair that feathered out behind him. Like his hair, his clothing was black and only made his paleness even more noticeable. Piercing blue eyes glared at the blonde man and flitted back and forth between him and the room enclosing him. Every movement he made reminded me of an animal trapped in a corner, ready for the slaughter. After a moment, he and I locked gazes and chills ran down my spine. A moment later, he looked away, but it was long enough for me to see the anger in his gaze, but also hurt, loss, and confusion. In that short moment, I knew that it was he that needed my help. More so than any other of my clients from before, for I had never seen a look of pain so profound.

I turned my attention back to the blonde who started speaking to Kris again. "Though we do not share your monetary customs, we shall be willing to compensate Miss Ranieri whatever is fair for her services to us." I looked at Kris and noticed that she was extremely confused by the man and his manner of speech (her mouth also slightly agape so she probably didn't hear a word he said), so I moved to save her from further confusion and embarrassment.

"Well, if you both will follow me, I would like to talk to you both at the same time to figure out what your hopes for therapy are and what results you expect from me." Gesturing for both of the men to follow me, I walked out of the receptionist office and brought them into the adjoining room which served as my office.

The office wasn't large by any means, but it was comfortable enough for me and my patients. I had one large bookcase kept behind my desk, filled with texts ranging from _The Basics of Psychology_ to books on how to identify symptoms of certain mental disorders. The walls were kept plain, only displaying a small picture of my family, as well as my diplomas from college. My desk was kept clear of almost everything except for a notebook and a few pens. I never sat behind it, because I felt that it cut me off from my patients when I wanted to become more than just a therapist. I needed that rapport from my patients so they could feel that I was a confidante of theirs and they could tell me anything they wanted.

I picked up my notebook and a pen and sat in on of the chairs in front of my desk, placing the folder for personal information on top of my lap. I gestured for the two men to sit in front of me. I watched as the darker man was guided by the lighter to one of the seats. Obviously, the dark haired brother didn't want to be here. " _And therein lies one of the issues_ " I thought to myself. Once both brothers were seated, I asked "Alright, first thing I need to know is what your names are." Putting pen to paper, I waited for a response.

The blonde responded "I am Thor Odinson, and this is my brother Loki."

I looked up at the man, cocking my head in confusion. Thinking this was some joke, I quipped, "I'm sorry sir, but is that really your name? I have no patience for time wasters." I knew enough of Norse mythology from my own leisure reading that the Norse gods were truly just a myth. But then again in the back of my mind, I knew these brothers were out of place here.

"I have no reason to treat you falsely, Miss Ranieri. I am being quite truthful with you."

"Right. So you want me to believe that you two are the sons of Odin and the Norse gods of myth? Thor, god of Thunder and Loki, god of Mischief? Do you have any proof?"

"I have no form of formal Midgardian identification that would prove my identity to you. However, if you would prefer it, I could have Tony Stark or a member of SHIELD verify mine and my brother's identities for you."

"You know Tony Stark? Of Stark Industries? How?"

"Did you not hear of the attack in your city of New York that occurred a little over a year ago? Mr. Stark, myself and a small group of Midgardians were brought together to fight off that attack and it is because of us that Midgard is now safe."

"I do remember that attack. The news said that a group that called themselves the Avengers were the saviors of the city. You were one of them?"

"I was. My brother however," he inclined his head towards Loki who shifted uncomfortably, "was the one who led the invasion into the city. After we beat back the Chitauri and recovered the Tesseract, Loki and I returned home to Asgard. Many things happened during our time there, but actions were taken so that no death sentence was passed. While there, the Allfather has judged him and punished him for his misconduct in this realm. Therefore, he was stripped of his powers and has been sent to live on Midgard for the time being. The Allfather also requested that he find someone to help him heal his mind of his troubled thoughts."

I nodded slowly, trying to take all the information in. So the conspiracy theorists were right. There had been an alien invasion in Manhattan and a group of superheroes ended up saving the day. And sitting before me were one of the Avengers and the purported villain of the event. Both of whom were the Norse gods of medieval mythology. Rubbing my fingers over the bridge of my nose, I asked "How many therapists have you seen and told this story to?"

Thor hung his head a little dejectedly and said "We have looked far and wide throughout this city for near a fortnight and no one has been willing to hear us out to this point. I have lost count of the number of mind healers we have seen and rejected us, laughing as we left. I fear no one will be able to help."

I tapped my pen against my notebook, thinking. If no one else wanted to take this case on, it could be a futile one and possibly dangerous. Whether this was some elaborate hoax, (or even if it wasn't), either way it could end up badly for me. However, if no one else took on this case and new light could be gleaned from Loki's therapy, I could have my doctorate thesis sitting right in front of me.

I looked up at Thor and said "I cannot guarantee any results. Therapy only works if both the therapist and the patient are willing to work together and not hold anything back from the other. That means no secrets. And no lies." I looked at Loki pointedly with those last words. His blue eyes bored into mine, searching for weakness in that moment, which I did not give him. Slowly, he nodded his head and turned to Thor.

"Know this Thor- I do this for myself. Not for the Allfather. And not for you." Loki's words were as cold as ice and his meaning was somewhat lost on me, but Thor nodded.

"That is all I ask, Brother. I wish for us to be as we were before, though I know things between us have changed forever." Thor looked at me again and spoke quietly, "You should understand, Miss Ranieri, that he will be like none you have ever cared for."

I nodded my understanding. I could see that Thor really did want Loki to change for the better, and that even though I knew Loki would be resistant at first, sometime, somehow, he would have to break open and be honest with me.

"Alright, so since the rest of this sheet is pretty much irrelevant since neither of you have any form of 'Midgardian identification', I know you mentioned something to my receptionist about payment..."

Details were figured out about how I would be paid and when Loki would be coming to therapy. Thor said that he would be coming down every month or so to check up on Loki's progress, if any. I also mentioned that if there were familial issues that came up, that some sessions where both Thor and Odin would have to be present would need to happen.

As the men left my office, I watched Loki. Overall, he played the part of a normal young man well. Albeit, he was taller than most men and definitely had the advantage in the looks department. He also spoke eloquently from what little I had heard. But his mind and his emotional state were both crumbling before my eyes, even though his outer visage gave no signs of his inner turmoil. Most people wouldn't be able to see the pain he hid, but then again, I wasn't 'most people'.

If I had not seen what happened in Manhattan with my own eyes, I would have never believed the story he...well, his brother told me. But this is the story of us, and how he came to accept who and what he is.

This is the story of Loki's punishment and forgiveness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really just a character study I've wanted to do on Loki for the longest time and I haven't found many serious works with Loki in intensive therapy. So I decided to write my own. I hope you all enjoy, and I'm looking forward to your comments and feedback!


	2. Discoveries

 

Loki had been in sessions with me for a week and we hadn't made a lot of progress. But that wasn't unexpected. I would ask him simple questions, usually about his day, what he was doing around town, so on and so forth. He'd only give me short answers. Most of them were one or two words. I could see why others would have given up on him, and why Thor had almost given up hope for him. By keeping everything close to himself, he was going to be a tough nut to crack.

  
But unlike everyone else involved, my degree depended on figuring out this man and the issues within his family.

  
After a particularly frustrating session, I let him leave early, reminding him of the time for our next session. Kris had already left for the day, but I stayed a bit later, typing up my notes from my sessions with Loki so far. Most people would think that a lack of communication between the two of us wouldn't reveal much. But I had already learned a lot.

  
He kept things close to himself, not offering his opinions at all. His emotional range varied from uninterested to bored. His body language showed that he did not want to be around me at all and his tone of voice, whenever he did speak, sounded of nonchalance. But I knew better. Everything about him was defensive, from the body language to his feigned lack of interest. And the walls he had built up were strong and sturdy. In short, I knew that he was a broken man that didn't want to open up, lest he be hurt.

  
Luckily, I had all of the basic information I needed for the outline that I needed to send to my supervisor at the university. I sent my notes to him as well, hoping that he would have some insight. Names were obviously changed in my notes to keep anonymity, and also because of the fact that I was treating a Norse god of legend.

  
The next step was in figuring out how to reach Loki in order to get him to open up.

  
I gathered my belongings and copied my notes onto a flash drive, just in case ideas came to me while I was at home. I locked up the building before heading out to my car, tossed my satchel into the passenger seat, and drove towards home.

  
For once, it wasn't rainy and grey outside so I took a detour to a local park. There was a nice spot under a tree by a small stream that was quiet and peaceful, and it was isolated from the families that were sure to be swarming the park when the weather was nice. I grabbed a notebook from my bag and I headed towards the spot and sat down.  I closed my eyes, letting the sun warm my face for a moment. Finally, when inspiration hit, I began to write.

  
I know it's kind of silly and redundant for a psychologist, but I write poetry in my free time. Sometimes to deal with my emotions, but it's more often to release the pent up emotions that others have trusted to me. I spend all day, every day hearing about people's problems and poetry gives me an artistic way of expressing their pain, as well as mine.

  
I hadn't written about Loki yet, and today I felt the need to vent my frustration at his stubborn nature. My frustration, however, wasn't directed at him, but at myself and my inability to reach him and how I needed to get him to open up somehow.

  
My mind floated back to our session just a few hours earlier, trying to find the words to describe him. Stubborn was an obvious one. Broken too. Cast out, defeated, damaged. Wounded.

  
Words flooded my head as I began to write. A lot of the time, my poetry doesn't even rhyme (you see what I did there?). But that's the thing. It doesn't have to. Because it's just for me and me alone. I haven't ever shared it with anyone, nor do I have plans to. Because it's personal. Maybe one day I'll share what I've written, but not now.

  
Time flew by and the sun began to set. I gathered up my belongings and headed back over to where I had parked my car. To get there though, I had to cross over a small bridge arching over the stream. I don't know what compelled me to, but I stopped for a moment to look out across the water. And that was when I spotted Loki right beneath the bridge.

  
His eyes were closed so I knew that he hadn't seen me. I took an extended look at him while I knew he was somewhat vulnerable. For the first time, he almost looked peaceful and serene. Every other time I had seen him, his eyes were constantly looking at the door and windows in my office, almost like he was waiting to be attacked at any moment. He was so relaxed in that moment that I almost hesitated in calling out to him.

  
Almost.

  
"You waiting for the three billy goats gruff to come over the bridge, eh?" I called out to him.

  
His eyes snapped open and if looks could kill, I wouldn't be writing this right now. Ice cold blue eyes met mine and I shivered slightly.

  
After a moment, he finally recognized me and his face softened into something like resignation. I threw him back a smile and motioned him to join me on top of the bridge. He got up, slowly, so I knew he wasn't particularly happy with me.

  
"Are you following me?" he asked, not very pleasantly.

  
"Nope. Just a coincidence that I chose to visit the park today." I replied, still keeping a soft smile on my face.

  
"Oh."

  
"What were you doing down there?"

  
"Sleeping." Great, back to one word answers.

  
"Well, why were you sleeping under a bridge?"

  
He leaned against the other railings, made a non-committal noise and shrugged.

  
I stared at him for a moment before finally closing my eyes to prevent myself from rolling them in front of him. "Ugh, never mind. Forget I asked." Even more frustrated than before I turned to walk back to my car.

  
"I do not understand that reference."

  
I stopped and turned around to look at him. His head was cocked slightly, like a dog does when it's curious or confused. "I'm sorry?"

  
"The goat reference. I do not understand your meaning." he replied.

  
Walking back to him, I finally saw a chance to get him to open up and give me an honest answer for once. "I tell you the reference, in exchange for you telling me why you're sleeping under a bridge. Deal?"

  
He mulled the bargain over in his mind shortly before nodding his assent.

  
"Great. Now we're getting somewhere," I said, smiling.

  
"Three billy goat's gruff. It's an old story that, coincidentally, comes from Norway. Basically, there are three goats and they have to cross a bridge to get to the better grass on the other side. Well, this bridge is guarded by a huge troll that lives underneath it. So the first goat tries to cross and the troll stops him and says he wants to 'gobble' the goat up. The goat then says that a bigger goat is coming along and that the troll shouldn't spoil his appetite. So the troll lets him pass. The same thing happens when the second goat passes. When the third goat gets to the bridge, the troll tries to eat him, but the goat is so big that it's able to throw the troll off the bridge and it was never heard from again. Hence, you being the 'troll' under the bridge waiting for the goats."

  
Loki nodded slowly but I could tell that something was disturbing him. "The troll part...that was not referencing anything that Thor has told you?"

  
Now it was my turn to be confused. "What? I only know what Thor told me the first day you both showed up. And all he said to me, you heard yourself."

  
"Ah, then...never mind." he said, the relief almost obvious in his voice. "I suppose it is my turn to explain then?"

  
I nodded, waiting for him to continue speaking. This was actually much more productive than any of our previous sessions.

  
"I was sleeping under the bridge because it provides shelter. It is...where I have been sleeping these past nights. I..." he stumbled over the next few words like it pained him to have to admit it. "I have no one here to...help me."

  
The realization dawned on me later than it should have. Of course he would have nowhere to stay. I had thought that Thor would think ahead and figure out accommodations for his brother, but then again, Thor had no contacts in the UK. The Avengers were stationed out in the US so no help would come from them. And even if they had an outpost in the UK, they would be unlikely to help out a war criminal like Loki.

  
I had noticed that Loki seemed more unkempt with each visit, but I just chalked that up to being stubborn, rather than think of the possibility that he was practically homeless here on Earth.

  
"So you have no place to stay, no other clothing than that on your back and no way to feed yourself? When was the last time you ate? Or bathed?" I asked, incredulous.

  
"I have nothing. I have not eaten or bathed since I came to Midgard. Though, do not worry for me. I can care for myself, Miss Ranieri."

  
I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I had been trying to counsel someone who was practically letting himself die while in my care. "Obviously, from what I can see, you aren't able to care for yourself. You're mortal now. You have to eat and bathe and stay healthy while you're here!"

  
"Your concern is appreciated but-."

  
"No. You're coming with me whether you like it or not," I interrupted. "I'm not letting you waste away while you're under my care and protection. Hell, your brother would freak if he knew that I was letting you live under a bridge while I was taking care of you." I grabbed Loki's arm and started to pull him along with me. He wrenched his arm from my grasp, but he continued to follow.

  
We reached the car and he stared at it as I got in and started the engine. He was still standing there when I rolled down the window. He leaned down as I said, "You know, you have to open the door to get in?"

  
"How?"

  
 _Oh my God_ , I thought. "The latch on the outside. Pull it." Once he was finally in the car, I had to coach him on how to put on a seatbelt. ("This thing chokes me." "Yeah, well, if you're ever in an accident, it'll save your damn life.")

  
The drive to my flat was uneventful and quiet. I was grateful for that actually. It gave me time to think and plan, since bringing Loki home with me was...impulsive to say the least. And I was never one to make impulse decisions of this caliber before.

  
We arrived at my flat and I turned off the engine, sitting in the car for a moment. I closed my eyes, sighed, and rested my head back against the headrest. A few moments passed as I thought about what to do next. I heard an intake of breath next to me and I put up my hand to silence him.

  
"Thinking. Just give me a minute, Loki." I heard him huff slightly and I imagined him crossing his arms. The thought made me smile just a bit before I opened my eyes. Looking over to Loki, I saw him with his arms crossed, just like I had imagined. The smile played at the edges of my lips slightly before I began speaking.

  
"Loki, I'm sorry for dragging you all the way over here. I just...I need to explain better. Thor left you in my care and it's my job to make sure that you're healthy and cared for. That's part of my job. There's something called 'Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs'. Basically what it says is that to reach self-actualization, you have to have certain needs met before that point. The most basic needs are those that we need to survive and be physically healthy. Living under a bridge is not living healthily. And it's my responsibility to keep you safe. Otherwise, your brother would tan my hide."

  
"Tan your what?"

  
I rolled my eyes. "He'd kick my ass, okay? And I can't take you to a homeless shelter or anything like that. Not just because you're my patient, but because you aren't from here. You stick out.  You're not...well, you're not normal.  And I don't particularly trust the people that frequent shelters. Besides, keeping you close by, I'll know you're safe. Now, let's get inside. I'll show you around the building."

  
It was a nice and spacious building. Of a lot better value than I could get in the city itself. Taking the stairs two at a time, I walked to the end of the hallway and unlocked the door. I gave Loki a short tour of my 1 bed/1 bath flat and explained to him that he'd be sleeping on the futon ("A what?" "A couch that turns into a bed.") in the living room for the time being. "Make yourself at home. I'll be right back," I told him as I headed back into the hall to the flat across the way and knocked on the door. After waiting a few moments, a tall and lanky young man with messy brown hair opened the door.

  
"Hey Mari, what's up?" he asked, leaning against the door-jam casually.

  
I raised my eyebrows slightly. "A lot, West. I'll explain later. But I came to ask a favor of you and Seth."

  
"Sure. What do you need?"

  
"Any extra clothes that you don't wear, I need to borrow them for the time being."

  
Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrows. "Okay, bit of an odd favor, but I can do it. So long as that explanation happens now." He walked into the flat, motioning for me to follow. West and Seth were my best friends, other than Kris (who lived with another friend, Alizabeth) and we had all come over to the UK at the same time to try and make our way in a different country. Seth, Kris, Ali and I all knew each other from high school. Ali and I had met West in community college in a theater course, and we were all practically inseparable. So inseparable that when I had an opportunity to move to the UK to open my own practice and get my doctoral degree faster, they followed along one by one.

  
"You're gonna think I'm crazy, but I have a really important client who is effectively homeless for the duration of his treatment. Apparently, for the past week, he's been sleeping under a bridge. So...I brought him home with me," I explained quickly.

  
He turned to look at me, incredulous, holding an old pair of jeans. "Mari, you are most definitely crazy. There _have_ to be rules against this in the medical field."

  
I leaned against the door of his room, crossing my arms. "Yeah I know, but this guy...he...he's so _damaged_ , West. And you know about the heirarchy of needs. Basic safety, the needs of food and shelter, he needs to have those before we can work on the more abstract process of healing. And here is the only place that I know of that I can care for him and make sure that he feels safe."

  
West nodded, folding the pair of jeans and tossing them on the bed before reaching for another shirt.

  
"I have another favor to ask..." I said after a few moments of silence. He looked at me expectantly. "I can't just drop all my other patients that I have scheduled every day, and I can't bring him with me to the office. I mean, I could, but not now. I need you and Seth to take turns watching out for him while I'm at work. I'm gonna get Ali to help out too since I know you guys can't always watch him. And you don't have to always watch him. Just make sure he eats and doesn't run away."

  
He looked at me curiously. "Mari, what is it about this guy that has you all motherly? You don't get this way over every patient."

  
I sighed, closing my eyes. "He's my case study for my Ph.D. I have to do everything in my power to help him, because in his own way, he'll be helping me." I huffed slightly, "That is if I can ever get him to talk about his issues. But you _can't say anything_ to him about that. I'd completely lose his trust, and I need him to trust me."

  
"I know I can't talk you out of this but listen to me, Mari," he implored. I looked over at him, folding up another shirt for Loki. "Don't kill yourself over this guy. Over your case study. I promise I'll do what I can to help you and him, but I can't guarantee Seth will do the same. Nor Ali. Do what you can, but don't beat yourself up over it if you can't fix him. Sometimes..." he hesitated. "Sometimes people have to fix themselves." He handed me a small pile of clothes. "Here, hopefully that will be enough for now until he can get some other clothing. I'll do what I can while you're at work, I promise."

  
Taking the stack of clothing and tucking it under my arm, I pulled West in for a hug and whispered into his ear, "Thank you." Pulling away, I walked towards the door and called over my shoulder, "I'll introduce you guys tomorrow!"

  
Walking back into my flat, I saw Loki perusing the large bookshelves that covered the walls of my living room. "You have quite a collection," he murmured just loud enough for me to hear.

  
"Heh, yeah. I'm a bit of a nut when it comes to books. I haven't even read half of them. And you haven't yet seen the shelves in my bedroom." I laid the pile of clothes on a recliner. I tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention, then pointed at the pile. "Those are for you until I can get us to the store to buy you some new clothes. I don't know how well they'll fit. West is a bit shorter than you, but you two have a similar build, so they should be okay for now. I'll introduce you to him tomorrow."

  
Loki looked at the pile of clothing, nodded slightly then turned back to the books. I shrugged and dropped my satchel off in my bedroom before heading to the kitchen to start something for dinner. _Cooking for two now Mari_ , I thought to myself. I pulled out a pot and filled it with water to boil for pasta. I started my tea kettle at the same time. Walking out into the living room, I asked Loki, "Find anything interesting?"

  
"Not sure yet." he responded shortly. I rolled my eyes and walked back to the kitchen to keep an eye on the water. A few moments later; "Who is West, Miss Ranieri?"

  
"West is a friend. He and my other friends, Seth and Ali, are going to keep an eye on you while I'm at the office. I just asked him to make sure that you eat while I'm gone each day. And you can call me Mari or Mar. Doesn't matter which." I turned off the tea kettle before filling a mug. I considered filling a second, but I figured if Loki wanted some, he'd ask for it. "Pasta okay for dinner for tonight?" I heard him grunt a noncommittal noise, which I took as a yes.

  
Dinner was uneventful. And also silent.

  
Afterwards, I showed him how to use all the appliances - the oven/stove, the microwave, the TV and DVD player in case he didn't find a book to pass the time. I also showed him the bathroom, just in case the facilities were different in Asgard. While he was in the shower, I unfolded the futon, and fitted it with some old sheets from my closet. By the time I was finished, Loki was clean and wearing some of West's clothes. Like I suspected, they weren't a perfect fit but they would suffice for the next few days. I bid Loki a good night and closed myself in my room.

  
I typed up a few new notes for my case study, particularly about Loki's interest in books. Maybe I could reach him through one of those, but I was unsure. Soon exhaustion from the day took its toll on me and I surrendered to sleep, eased by the thought that Loki was in a safe environment.

  
Now it was time to try and figure out how to get him talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dedicated to the wonderful BlissfullyCracked and RemyReaper of Tumblr. They are my lovely Beta readers and I wouldn't have the confidence to continue this story without their help and encouragement.


	3. Progress

 

I awoke to the incessant buzzing of my alarm clock early the next morning. It was Friday, thank God. At least Loki would only be on his own in my flat for a few hours today, so he wouldn't be able to cause too much trouble. I rolled myself out of bed and jumped in the shower, hoping the shock of hot water would wake me up.

  
Cleaning up and dressing for me is relatively quick. I can't really do much with my short hair except put a little gel in it and hope my bed-head flattens out, and as for my outfits, they're usually the same. A blouse and a pair of nice slacks have always served me well.

  
I gathered up my satchel and headed out to the kitchen. Loki was still asleep. He probably hadn't had a decent night's sleep for the past week down here on Midgard. I quietly poured myself a bowl of cereal and started the tea kettle. I ate at the kitchen table, waiting for both the tea to finish and for Loki to wake up.

  
Luckily, the tea kettle is what woke Loki for me. I think the high pitched whistle was an abnormal sound for him since he sat up suddenly, searching for the source of the noise. He didn't bluster or make loud noises of confusion, but every move was calculated and deliberate, like a hunter. I looked at him from between the cabinets and counter and saw his face was contorted into a mixture of confusion and readiness to fight.

  
"What in the Seven Realms was that blasted noise?" he seethed.

  
I held up my teacup and the kettle. "Tea. Want some?"

  
"Tea here makes that kind of noise?"

  
"No. The kettle did. It heats the water to make the tea. Do you want some?" I asked again.

  
He relaxed slightly and got up from the futon. "Yes."

  
I poured him a cup and handed it to him as he sat at the table. "So, we need to figure out a couple of things out before West comes over. Firstly, your name."

  
He looked up at me, questioning. "My name? There is a problem with it?"

  
"Yeah. Here, we know Loki as the Norse god of mischief and lies. Not many people have that name; it's not very common. If you're going to masquerade as a Midgardian, you ought to use a different name. It'll also be weird if I try explaining to my friends that I'm treating the actual Norse god. They'd probably think I've gone crazy. So this is to protect you, as well as myself."

  
"A name like what? I know not what 'normal' here means."

  
I snorted. "You and me both."

  
He cocked his head, confused. "What? Was that funny?"

  
"Nothing, I'll explain it later." I waved my hand dismissively. "Okay so...what do you think of the name Ben? Or Tom? Maybe John? They're all very nondescript names. And simple enough for anyone to remember, especially us. And Kris. She's the only other person here who knows your origins. I'm going to explain the situation to her later today so that she can pass on the message to Ali."

  
Loki looked thoughtful for a moment, then spoke. "Ben will suffice. Though I still do not understand the need for secrecy. I assume most everyone on Midgard has heard of what happened in New York and London."

  
"London was your work too?" I asked, leaning against the counter, feigning nonchalance.

  
"It was not my work specifically. But, in a way, I had a hand in it." He slouched in the chair, crossing his arms over his chest. I knew I wasn't going to get more information out of him when he was being defensive so I let the topic drop for the moment.

  
"We have to keep this secret because the majority of the world believes the events in New York and London to be terrorist attacks. Only the conspiracy theorists actually believe that aliens were flying around Manhattan and that a group of super powered humans saved us all." I bit my lip, thinking. "Well, they know Iron Man was involved, but the others, no one knows who they are.

  
"Keeping your identity a secret is really important for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, if we go around claiming you are the god of mischief, we'd get thrown into an insane asylum, which if you're to...improve, then I can't do that if we're both in the nuthouse. Secondly, there are a lot of angry people in high places that dealt with the repercussions of those events you were involved in. You're mortal now, and that means you can be killed. And if I have anything to say about it, you're not dying while in my care. Do you understand now?"

  
Loki uncrossed his arms and picked up his tea. After a few moments of letting my words sink in, he nodded. "I understand, Miss Ranieri."

  
I rolled my eyes as I heard a knock on the door. "I told you to call me Mari. Or Mar. And don't forget your name - Ben um...Thompson." I opened the door to see West, his curly brown hair still tousled from sleep. "Morning! Come on in."

  
West followed me into the kitchen where we made our introductions. He and Loki shook hands, even though it seemed like Loki wasn't used to that custom. "Wasn't sure what time you needed me to be here so I figured I'd come over before you had to leave for work." he said, yawning slightly.

  
"Well, I'm glad you came over now, since I really ought to be heading out pretty quickly." I grabbed my satchel and headed towards the door. Turning to West, I beckoned him to follow me. "Come with me for a moment." Calling back to Loki, I said "Ben, you know how to work everything. I don't mind what you do so long as you stay here. Read a book. Watch TV. Talk to West. Just don't cause any mischief." I smirked at my own private joke.

  
West and I walked out of my flat and I closed the door so we could have some privacy. "Listen, all you need to do is keep an eye on him. I don't know if he can cook so make sure he eats at lunchtime. You don't have to even talk to him, even though he's not all that talkative anyways. But if he says anything interesting about his family or his life or interests or something, let me know when I get back. I need a breakthrough and soon." I hugged him quickly, saying "Thanks for helping me out. I really appreciate it, hon."

  
West smiled softly and shrugged as I let go. "Heh, you know I'd do anything to help you out Mari."

  
I smiled back at him before running out to my car. My first appointment wasn't supposed to appear for another hour, so I took my time getting to my office. Kris was there at her post in the receptionist office. "What's for lunch today, chica?" she called.

  
"Whatever you want today. When my last morning patient comes in, go ahead and pick something up for us." We had a habit of one or the other picking and choosing what we would do for lunch each day. Having lunch together was pretty much our social hour, but today was going to be different. I'd have to tell her about Loki living in my flat.  
My morning flew by quickly. All of my brainpower had to be focused on helping those in front of me, so I had no time to worry if Loki was getting into trouble or if he and West were getting along. After my last patient of the morning, Kris walked into my office carrying a big bag of Chinese takeout.

  
"So," she said as she began piling the food on my desk. "I was thinking that this weekend, we could leave early tonight and head down to London and have some girl time. Shopping, drinking..."

  
I shook my head as Kris trailed off. "Not this weekend Kris. I've gotta tell you something really important." I picked up my food and started to eat, waiting for Kris to sit. As she did, I continued speaking. "You remember last week when that new patient started coming in? The brother of that big burly blonde that you had the hots for?"

  
"I did not..." she started, flushing immediately.

  
"Yeah, you did. Don't deny it. Anyways, I've bet by now you noticed that his file is a little...different. Those men...they're not from here. God, you're going to think I'm crazy, but they are Thor and Loki from Norse mythology."

  
Kris stopped, her chopsticks halfway to her mouth and stared at me. "Okay, yeah. I think you're nuts." She took a moment to think, "But then again, that file seemed really hinky to me. Nothing about billing and identification, I wondered why you took him on because I know we don't take charity cases." She looked at me pointedly. "I trust you have good reason to treat him, other than the fact that both of them are delusional?"

  
I sighed and set my food down. "Kris, you were living in Manhattan when that attack happened. The one where the so-called Avengers came in and saved the day from an alien invasion?" I saw her shudder at the memory. Living in the city at that time must have been horrible. I guess that was part of the reason why she came overseas with me when I asked her to.

  
"That attack was led by the man I'm treating. Thor's little brother, Loki. He was in league with the aliens for some reason. Then, once he was in Thor's custody, something went on back in Asgard that is connected to the attack in London earlier this year. And that's not even the crazy part."

  
Kris' eyebrows jumped into her bangs. "Oh God, Mari, what could be crazier than all that?"

  
I took a deep breath, speaking quickly, "He had no place to go. He was living under a bridge for the past week and he had no way to care for himself. So I...brought him home."

  
She leaned back in her chair, the food completely forgotten. "Mari, you are absolutely nuts. How the hell is this going to work out? Keeping a homicidal maniac living in your flat? The Norse god of mischief, if he is even that. Haven't you thought that he might be insane? That both he and his brother should be institutionalized?"

  
"Kris, an institution wouldn't help him. If anything, it would mentally scar him more than he already is. He doesn't trust anyone and somehow, I have to rebuild that trust so that he will talk to me and so I can figure out what is wrong with him. And you don't have to lecture me about the ethics. West has already done that. But honestly, I couldn't leave him under that bridge. That'd be neglect on my part. And sticking him in a homeless shelter wouldn't help either. He needs a stable environment.

  
"I'm telling you this right now for a couple of reasons. Firstly, you and I are the only ones that know his true identity. We can't call him by his real name. I'm having him go by Ben Thompson while he's under my care. Secondly, I need you to let Ali know about the situation. West and Seth can't watch him at all times, but I know Ali could watch him when the guys aren't able to. And I only need you guys to help out until he and I can trust each other, which shouldn't take too long.

  
"I want to get him settled into a semi-normal life here on Earth. Maybe have him find a job or something, but at least until he knows how to fend for himself, I need you guys' help in watching over him." Food long forgotten, I watched as Kris mulled the idea over in her head.

  
She finally started eating again and nodded slowly. "Yeah. You can count on me to help. And you know Ali likes her strays so of course she's going to help. What did you say his pseudonym is going to be?"

  
I sighed, relieved that my friends all had my back. "Ben Thompson." We continued eating and made plans for the entire group to come over to my flat for a big dinner on Saturday night. That way, everyone could meet "Ben" and maybe in a social group, he would be more willing to talk.

  
The afternoon moved just as quickly as the morning, though I noticed I was becoming more anxious as time went on. Between patients, I would pace in my office, going over different types of therapy that I had studied in college that might work for Loki. None of them seemed viable options, but then again, I had no idea what was really wrong except for his defensive nature.

  
Finally, my last patient left and I finished my report on them. Dropping off the files at Kris' station, I waved to her as I left and she reassured me that she'd pass on the message to Ali when she got to their flat.

  
When I got to my flat I was at least glad that the building hadn't been burned down to the ground. Climbing the steps to my flat two at a time, I did the best I could to not run down the hall. I had no idea what to expect when I opened the door.

  
West was sitting on one of the recliners playing a videogame. Loki was not in the room, so far as I could see. I walked into the kitchen and dropped off my satchel on the table. One of the chairs was missing. "Hey West, where's Ben? Did he cause any trouble?" I called.

  
"He's in your room. Took one of the kitchen chairs in there with him. Been in there all day. Last I checked, he was just staring out the window. And everything was fine. I'm not sure if he ate or not, but I did drop off some food for him in there." West turned off the console and walked out the door. "I'll be just across the hall if you need anything Mari."

  
"Thanks West!" I called out as he left. I walked over and stood outside my bedroom door, hesitating slightly before walking in. Luckily, everything looked exactly as I had left it earlier except for the chair stationed by the window and Loki seated in it, his head resting on his arms as he leaned against the window. A small tray sat next to him, the contents gone. _At least he ate_.

  
I walked up beside him, looking out the window myself. There wasn't much to see anyways, but there were a few cars passing by every so often. "West says you've been in here all day. Are you looking for anything or anyone specific or just passing the time?"

  
"Passing time," he murmured. "It is so calm here. I thought all of Midgard was always moving all the time."

  
"Well, living in the big city never suited me, so I figured somewhere more calm and laid-back would be a good place to set down roots. I would love to live in London or Glasgow or one of the big cities, but I could never stand the noise and all the movement. It made me too stressed out. Here, we're close to really open country where there's just nothing but nature around."

  
Loki sighed and leaned back from the window. "It is similar in Asgard. People are always doing something, but there is no rush to anything there."

  
I smiled, leaning against one of the bookcases. "That's because immortals can afford to take their time. Us little people down here, we have limited time to spend, so we rush to do everything. Time is precious to us. Our lack of 'enough time' is probably one of the biggest problems people have. It makes us angry, frustrated and prone to rash decision making.

  
"It also makes people want to do something with their lives. We want to make our mark on the world somehow because what do you leave here when you're dead? We want to make a legacy for ourselves." My smile fell, turning into something more contemplative as I stared out the window.

  
"You wish for a legacy?" he asked. I nodded silently. "What is it you wish to leave behind?"

  
I sighed. "I'm not sure. I want to be married and have a family someday, so my children would be part of my legacy. I want to make a breakthrough in psychological therapy so my name will be taught alongside Erikson and Maslow and Gardner. But...I guess in simpler terms, I want to save lives."

  
Loki snorted derisively. "All I have ever seen you do is ask questions and talk. How can you save lives by talking to people?"

  
I looked at him directly. "The same way you can kill by just talking to people. Choose the right words and people can either live or die by your influence. People deal with other people every day that can either encourage or discourage them. Words can kill. But words can also give life. I choose to do what I can to encourage and give words of inspiration and life to those that ask for my help. I treat a surprising amount of people who tell me every time they walk into my office that they are going to kill themselves. I talk to them, help them see that life is not hopeless, and that it's worth living. So far, none have died while in my care. I call that success."

  
Loki looked at me, his face softening slightly. "How can you guarantee that your patients won't kill themselves?"

  
Shaking my head, I continued. "There is no guarantee. I just have to hope that people will listen and take my advice and kind words as I give them. That's the thing about therapy. About psychology. There are no guarantees. Every patient is different in how they need to be reached and treated. Some need compassion and kindness, others need a good kick in the pants to keep them going. And that's figurative, by the way."

  
"You tend to use a lot of figurative language," he commented.

  
I shrugged. "Sometimes you need more colorful language to get a point across. Come on. I'm gonna teach you how to cook a bit. I'm hoping you'll be able to take care of yourself by the end of the month so that West, Seth and Ali don't have to keep tabs on you all the time." I walked out of my room and called back, "Bring the chair and the plate with you."

  
Loki followed me into the kitchen with the chair and the plate which he placed in the sink. I rummaged through the fridge to see what I had available. I finally settled on something I thought was relatively simple - meatloaf. I gave Loki the task of peeling a few potatoes so we could boil them and mash them. And for being as stubborn as a mule, he was surprisingly good at taking direction.

  
I grabbed my laptop out of my bag and set up the music player so that whether he and I were talking or not, we always had some background noise. When we did talk, it was inconsequential (mostly 'how was your day' kind of stuff), but I wasn't going to complain. Loki was at least willing to speak to me so in my mind, that translated into the beginnings of trust on his part. One of the songs I was more familiar with came on and just out of habit I started singing along.

  
_Please, level with me, understand_

_I'd do anything for you_

_Seize any moment while you can_

_This void is coming after you_

_Cause loneliness is why you hurt_

_Just don't kill the messenger_

  
"Ow!"

  
I whirled around to see Loki staring at his hand, a small amount of blood welling on his fingertips. I grabbed the knife and the potato and put them to the side while I grabbed for Loki's injured hand intending to pull him towards the sink. Hissing slightly, Loki wrenched his hand from my grasp.

  
"Don't touch me!" he seethed. He stood there, staring at his fingers for a few moments as if he was waiting for something. Slowly, a look of realization came over him, and the anger from his face fell and turned into a kind of sullen melancholy.

  
While Lokiw was rinsing off the blood until it stopped flowing, I grabbed a couple of bandages from my first aid kit and wrapped them around his fingers. Luckily they were only superficial cuts, but I was surprised that he even hurt himself.

  
"What was that?" I asked him.

  
"Nothing," he muttered.

  
I shook my head. "No, you were handling that knife perfectly until you cut yourself. What happened?"

  
He stared at his hand and then looked over towards my laptop. "That song...it...I don't like it." Loki looked confused and hurt, and I could tell that his mind was running at a million miles an hour trying to figure something out.

  
"Why don't you go sit down in the living room? I'll finish up in here and we'll have a little over an hour until dinner will be ready. We can talk when I'm finished, if you want to. No pressure." I nudged him out of the kitchen and he complied easily. I finished with the meatloaf and stuck it in the oven and then completed what was left of the potatoes before sticking them in a pot of water so they wouldn't oxidize and turn brown.

  
I took my time though, since I was thinking a lot of things through. I'd heard a lot about how music therapy worked wonders for many patients, but I'd never heard of it before in this context. Usually music therapy dealt with patients making their own music with boomwhackers and other simple instruments. It worked wonders for patients with Alzheimers or other debilitating mental illnesses, but I had never thought to use it on a typical patient. But then again, if it was possible he was willing to open up because a song triggered a memory, then I wasn't going to question it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Most future chapters will be titled with the song used for Loki's therapy. I highly recommend you listen to each song to understand what is happening in the song and how it relates to Loki's memories and therapy. This one (and the next chapter's title) is called The Homecoming by Coheed & Cambria. I'll put in a link for lyrics and the song on YouTube.)


End file.
